I know what you’re thinking, “It’s awfully fucking early in the year to be talking about Christmas, Yeti!” and I don’t disagree with you like at all. Usually I don’t wanna hear a motherfuckin thing about Christmas until after I’ve had some leftover turkey sammiches. However, when you find out that Dario Argento, king of Italian horror and director of the genre classic “Suspiria” and Iggy Pop, godfather of punk and walking leather - covered driftwood sculpture are coming together to create what promises to be a horrifying Christmas film you talk about fucking Christmas in February. Now that we got that out of the way…
Move the fuck over, mass murdering Santas and Krampuses “The Sandman” is coming to take your spot. See, the Sandman is a killer that will be portrayed by Iggy Pop and if that isn’t scary enough the bastard uses a jagged melon scoop to fucking take the eyes out of his victims. You don’t get much more brutal than that, kids. The movie will be centered on a student named Nathan who witnessed the Sandman cutting out his mom’s eyes as a child which obviously haunts him forever. The only comfort for ol’ Nate is that he killed the spoon-wielding maniac all those years ago on Christmas Eve. Except that he didn’t because he witnesses yet another murder by the same fucking guy years later. Should have double tapped, Nathan, should have fucking double tapped.
Argento promises that this will be his most horrifying film yet. If Iggy Pop kills with his shirt off it will be the most horrifying movie ever made. Ever. The Indiegogo for “The Sandman” is closed after gathering almost $200,000 and a website has been set up in order to give updates on the film. Currently, they’re finalizing the cast and locations and are shooting for a late fall release in the US. That’s right, The Maestro of Horror and The Godfather of Punk will be delivering this film in time for the holidays. So be prepared this year because when Christmas comes so does “The Sandman”.