The Follower Review
Yeti

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The Follower centers on horror YouTuber David who travels to a supposedly haunted house to do an investigation for his channel. The opening scenes prompted me to change his name in my notes from David to Douchebag McYouTuber. Upon arrival he meets Carol and her dog, Cerberus. She explains that her house is very haunted and possibly dangerous. The investigation goes on and the plot just kind of falls apart.

Okay, I guess I will start with the things that I liked about this movie. First off, Cerberus is such a pretty dog. To use the parlance of the current internet culture, Cerberus is obviously a good boy and deserves all the boops his snoot can handle. Also, a good portion of the film is found footage but it’s well shot found footage and that is always nice. And that’s about it. Now let’s get into the rest of it.

While the movie was well shot the production value on it is just bad. I get that it’s “found footage” and was shot for a YouTube channel and all that but damn. I watch a decent amount of YouTube and  I would be hard pressed to find videos that looked this unappealing that weren’t posted more than five years ago by small channels. It just looks dingy.

To say that the performances were wooden would be an insult to trees everywhere. There were only two performances that are any kind of memorable in the entire film. There is a paranormal investigator who seems to be doing his best Christopher Walken impersonation and his best just isn’t that great. He needed way more cowbell. The other is Cerberus. The reason he stands out is not the boopability of his snoot but there’s a scene where David says how dangerous he looks and how uncomfortable he is around him because he is growling. The camera cuts to the pooch yawning, panting, and I’m assuming waiting on a well deserved treat. I don’t know if this was supposed to be a joke or if it was just more bad heaped on top of the other bad. Either way, it made the dog one of the only memorable cast members. The dialog feels like it was written by someone who has never interacted with other people.

There are very few instances of the ghostly goodness that I showed up for. There’s some EVP stuff, some shaking doorknobs, glitching film, and like one shot of a dark figure. Oh! And the best part? The invisible scratches left on the face of the random girl who David hooks up with. In fact, the plot switches from a haunting to a murder mystery focused on Carol, her deceased grandmother, and her brother. The biggest mystery, however, is how Carol sounded like she learned to speak from Dracula himself while her brother sounds like he’s from Minnesota.

Overall, I wouldn’t say I hated the movie because that would mean I cared even a little bit about what was going on and I didn’t. Honestly, I would have turned it off about twenty minutes in were it not for my sacred duty to you, Dear Reader. Unless you’re studying the relative passing of time and want to see how to make an hour and a half feel like half a day, I would skip this one.