At no point in the history of humanity has pissing a stripper off ever ended well...for anyone...everrrr. Case in point, Strip Club Massacre, brought to us freaks by the always sterling Midnight Releasing and Brain Damage Films. It's a delightfully sadistic blend of sex, drugs, revenge, BDSM and killing coke whores...or a regular Wednesday lunch buffet at any strip club in Myrtle Beach, S.C. 


We meet our femme fatale, Megan, played by the impossibly beautiful Alicia Watson as she's having possibly the worst day of her life (so far, that is) After being fired from her job and catching her boyfriend in bed with her roommate, she skips town and much like all down and out girls from the South, she heads to the stripper Mecca of Georgia, where Super Bowl dreams go to die but genital warts refuse to. She shacks up with her long lost friend Amanda, played by the feisty Courtney Riggs, and her slimeball strip club owner boyfriend. It only takes said slimeball about 15 nanoseconds to offer her a job due to the fact his last girl "quit." Cut to scene of Megan's ill-fated predecessor being chased through the woods by a group of Mean Girls "you can't sit with us" strippers as they ritually stone her, give her a Michael Myers ass whooping with a tree limb and remove her teeth with a butcher knife. This really sets the tone for the rest of the film and gives the viewer the foreboding sense that our poor Megan is fuckkkk  "I'm serious though, I'm not taking my clothes off"......and she's taking her clothes off! I'm drawing a complete blank for the next fifteen minutes. Not only does Alicia Watson have the sort of body you dream about being a Human Centipede with, but there's really only so much jiggling & wiggling a man can take before we revert fully back to our lizard brains and can no longer form complete sentences. Now our lovable Megan finds herself at odds with the mean girl strippers who are lead by the maniacal and utterly psychotic Jazz, played by Erin Brown, who runs an illegal prostitution ring within the club. These girls are as dark and lowdown as they come, fueled entirely by sadism & cocaine and dispensing death & cold sores at will. The movie toggles back and forth between Megan and Jazz in a sort of juxtaposition between good and evil. One minute, Megan is giving her first innocent lap dance, the next Jazz and her funky bunch are fucking a guy to death with a strap on and pulling the buxom snitch bartender's eyes out with a giant corkscrew. 

     Things finally come to a head, when Megan is invited to a party with Jazz and the rest of the club crew. After Jazz makes Megan her own special Cosby cocktail, she wakes up bound, ball-gagged and bent over....I'll leave the rest to your imagination and future viewing pleasure. It's hard to watch yet impossible not to watch, but somewhere during the course of it, Megan snaps. She's had all she can stands and she stands no mores. The rest of the film is a bloodlust-filled orgy of pain and gore, much akin to the likes of I Spit On Your Grave and Se7en. I swore an oath not to reveal too much, but it's fucking AWESOME. Get ready for some Thelma & Louise straight from the ninth level of Hell action and you can bet your ass no man will never go near a crowbar again after seeing this film.

     Director Bob Clark really made a great film and in essence pulled off what indie horror is really all about. Whether it be the gorgeous cast, the campy dialogue, the super enticing bondage element or the over the top gore, this movie will be a fan favorite of the genre for a while to come. Strip Club Massacre is out May 2nd on all major platforms and absolutely has my blessing. 

Review by The Great Beludini