It Came From the Internet

After seeing about thirty thousand hoax posters over the past five years or so, we’re finally getting a real ass Slender Man movie. As a fan of creepypastas in general and a nearly full time denizen of the Internet, just hearing about it has me genuinely excited. After watching the trailer my excitement has gone up a notch. This movie looks like it has some real potential to take the Internet’s most famous boogey man to darker and more disturbing place that he’s been before. Unless you count the weird sexual Slender Man fanfiction that you and I both know is out there somewhere.

So, the premise of the movie is that a group of teenage girls goes into the woods to perform a ritual that will summon the Slender Man; they plan to prove that he isn’t real. Presumably he doesn’t like their attitudes and decides to fuckin ruin their whole week. One of them goes missing shortly thereafter and, if the trailer is any indication, the rest of the girls get mind-fucked to oblivion while waiting on the Slender Man to come take them too. That’s what I’ve gathered anyway and luckily we won’t have to wait long for details because it hits theaters May 18th .

The trailer may have gotten mixed reviews but that isn’t the only bad press this movie is getting.  In case you were unaware, back in 2014 3 preteen girls went out into the woods of Wisconsin, two of which were seriously mentally ill. They soon turned on their not crazy friend and stabbed the shit out of her “for Slender Man”. They had a whole mythology built up and thought that by sacrificing this girl to him they could go live with Slender Man in his Slender Castle and they could be his… look I don’t know. Honestly I find the fact that they blamed a fucking creepypasta for those two girls possessing a special mixture of violent, mentally ill, and fucking stupid just astounding. If they listened to country music they probably would have sacrificed her to Taylor Swift or some shit. Crazy is gonna do what crazy is gonna do, man.  Now the father of one of the attackers is coming out saying this movie is in bad taste. I guess he thinks that the character should be retired because his kid fucked up. I don’t know man.  I honestly hope he drums up a bunch of recreational social media outrage and gives this movie a huge buzz.  

​By Yeti