Cute Little Buggers
Review By Yeti
Okay. So. Let me go ahead and warn you, thar be profanity ahead. This movie is about some aliens who are here to take over and colonize Earth. How are they going to do that? Well I’m glad you asked; they’re mutating bunnies and sending them to attack men and kidnap women to impregnate because alien DNA and human DNA matches I guess. It’s okay though, because this is a horror comedy. Fuck yeah! Love those! In the press stuff that came with the screener, it actually said that this movie is “Hot Fuzz meets Gremlins”. Who doesn’t love both of those movies? Horror comedies are great, Hot Fuzz and Gremlins are fucking classics, and I’m a guy who can enjoy a bad movie so I went into this with some expectations.
First of all, whoever wrote the thing namedropping Hot Fuzz and Gremlins to dupe bored potheads into watching this movie is a dick. It took me about five minutes to realize that the only likeness it had to Hot Fuzz was the British sounding folks facing off against the supernatural threat. Also, just because it’s furry doesn’t mean it resembles a gremlin. For fuck’s sake!
I really don’t feel like I need to go into the “plot” of the movie, it’s pretty much spelled out in the description. They tried to take a handful of subplots and tie them together with this vague dance party thing. What they achieved was a clusterfuck of characters that you don’t give a shit about. There are so many heavily clichéd bits of story used here: The broken home being mended by some greater enemy, the prodigal son returning, a love triangle, and rabbits that explode when they come into contact with human urine. You don’t need to go back and re-read that, the one weakness of the bunnies is piss.
I have to give credit where it’s due, though. Brian the alien was pretty funny. Yeah no, that’s it. He was the one positive thing about the movie. This film was shot so poorly that it made a room full of attractive topless women look utterly unappealing. The whole movie is just so fucking ugly. Seriously, they throw in more tits than the first two seasons of Game of Thrones and couldn’t make one of them appealing. Parts of it feel like it was shot in English and then dubbed also in English by people whose voices didn’t fit the faces of tha actors. It’s hard to explain, really but it was so fucking uncomfortable to watch.
The only reason I could see to watch this movie is to experience the feeling of time travel. The runtime for Cute Little Buggers is and hour and forty-eight minutes and it felt like at least four hours. This movie killed my buzz. Seriously guys, avoid this one like the plague.