​By Yeti

Can’t Take It Back

 “Can’t Take It Back” is a cautionary tale about being a cunt on social media. So basically, a high school girl is bullied until she commits suicide, a couple of drunk girls talk shit about her on her Facebook wall, then the vengeful spirit comes back to fuck shit up, driving those postmortem cyber bullies to off themselves in spectacular fashion.

    I’ve skipped all of the other films like this for one reason or another. Maybe it’s because I’m kind of a cunt to people online but only when they really deserve it. I’m about to do that in this very review but we’ll get to that later, I promise. This movie makes me want to go back and check some of those titles out, though. I’ve never had this much fun watching a bunch of high school girls kill themselves. Wait. No. What I meant to say is the last thing I watched about teen suicide was “13 Reasons Why” and let’s all be honest here, that show was fucking depressing. “Can’t Take It Back” takes a subject that should, by all rights, be super depressing and makes it spooky with a side of, “Fuck yeah girl! Get them bitches!”. I found myself rooting for the vengeful spirit of Morgan, the girl who was bullied to death and if there’s one thing I love it’s a movie that makes me root for the antagonist.

    The effects, characters, cinematography, and scares were on point. The pacing is great; it starts out fast and doesn’t take a breath until the end. The film opens on a girl who is at the bottom of a spiral into madness chanting and repeatedly typing, “I’m sorry” into her broken laptop before hurling herself out a window, probably at the none to gentle urging of Morgan. Now that’s how you start a fucking film, people!

    This film shows us some of the worst things that young people on the internet have to offer. It shows us how bullying only gets worse online, what happens when nudes are leaked and slut shaming gets real, teen suicide, and cancerous pile of human excrement Logan Paul. In fact, the inclusion of this dead rat shocking, fish suffocating, suicide forest vlogging sack of shit is my only complaint about this movie. Anyone who is aware of this guy who is above 12 years old knows how much of a syphilis-soaked douche nozzle he is so it was kind of a bummer to see his big stupid dudebro face on my screen. The disappointment was only compounded by the fact that every line delivered by this vapid sack of bum diarrhea is wooden as fuck. Even though he was basically playing himself - an emotionless, compassionless, frat boy in training, fuckbag – he couldn’t pull it off. It seems like he wasn’t so much cast in the film as he just wondered onto set. Luckily, this talentless shitstain is only on screen for a total of about five minutes so he doesn’t detract that much from an otherwise good movie. I guess the only good thing about him appearing in this movie is that if I hadn’t wanted to take this time to shit on him in a public way I probably wouldn’t have reviewed it and you may not have heard about a really enjoyable film. So hey, there’s that.

    Like I said, I enjoyed the hell out of this movie. If you have Shudder, you should definitely give this a watch. “Can’t Take It Back” appears to be a Shudder exclusive and just one more reason why if you don’t have Shudder, you should. They’re not paying me to say that, either; myself nor Tennessee Horror News and Promotions are affiliated with Shudder in any way. It’s just a badass streaming service at a good price.  So get it, and watch all these exclusive flicks I’ve been reviewing. Also, fuck Logan Paul. Papa Bless.