​American Mummy


Why go see yet another overproduced, overhyped Hollywood Mummy movie? You already know the story and more than likely you've already unwittingly seen the best scenes in the previews. To sum up every mummy movie you've ever seen....Mummy returns from the dead to terrorize, hero does heroic shit, the end. Yeah, that's not really doing it for me this time either. What if someone had an original take on one of our favorite monster mythologies? 

Never fear, the Monroe University dig team is here and they've come to fuck shit up! While excavating a sight out in the desert, they stumble upon what they believe to be a mummified Aztec god. Now it's a given that anytime college kids go looking for anything in a horror movie, they're fucksville. Add an Aztec mummified deity who's into sacrifice, dismemberment and blood-soaked chicks to that....GOLD. We've all seen just about every iteration of the Mummy resurrection, but have you ever seen one brought back to life by a gorgeous woman dry humping his withered corpse while chanting ancient American necromancy? I didn't think so, but what's unearthed from that unholy romp is some kind of Aztec zombie STD that spreads through the group like it's spring break at Daytona Beach. Some weird shit goes down in the desert. If you're lucky, they just want to kill you. Not so lucky, they want to make out with you with their green zombie tongues dripping viscous discharge. It gets pretty gooey at times too.

Altogether I think they pulled off a lot in this movie using very little but story, dialogue and scenery. Definitely an interesting new spin on a horror classic. With solid acting, much appreciated practical effects and just the right amount of nudity and campiness, Charles Pinion's American Mummy is worth a watch

​Review by The Great Beludini